Root of Atheism

TIme with atheist and those who are generally against God or the idea of God, has shown me a pattern. When you deal with anti God minded people for a time, the root of their angst with God inevitably comes down to sexual issues. It appears that such people have a profound pre-occupation with sexual licentiousness and this provokes them against God since they know God advocates the highest form of personal sexual responsibility and social conscience concerning sexuality.

An acquaintance of mine complained that in regard to homosexual issues, I think demons are swarming around such people. Such an idea at face value may sound absurd, but in the sense of an oxymoron, it may be profoundly true. I am posting an excerpt from my book that describes demonic influence behind homosexual behavior:

“Invisible Men and Demons from Hell”

Ike wasn’t finished with me yet. Over the next few days, Ike seemed more engaging toward me than usual. I think that in the years past, Ike hadn’t really paid me that much attention because I was just a friendly immature kid next to him. But now that I was showing an awareness and grasp of things that Ike related too, I think Ike felt less restrained, and was willing to be a bit more open with me. I remained on friendly terms with Ike, and his interest in me had increased. It seemed now that Ike would initiate conversations and activities with me, and in the course of them Ike would seize on certain words I said as if they were somehow contractual agreements. Usually he would either nod with affirmation, or softly repeat statements with emphasis, or maybe agree a little more affirmatively than usual, or give an interpreted meaning to some remark. But the idea of an agreement having just been made was there. The vibe to me was as if I was being bargained with by the emissary of the hellish world of the occult. I wasn’t making any agreements though, and thought the whole routine was rather silly.

There was one time when Ike showed up at my house, which was more than unusual because that just never happened. Yet here he was. We talked a bit, and then Ike suggested we walk around the place outside. We went walking around in the back yard behind the hedge row toward the garden plot. There laid the blackened remains of one of my overly ambitious mechanical projects. It was the chopped and reshaped floor pan and transaxle of an old Volkswagen Beetle, which I had wanted to make into a three wheeled cycle, like my friend Larry Fudge had done. But the project was too much for me and there the hulk laid in the weather. As Ike and I were talking, I stood upon the hulk, and Ike asked me a question which I can’t recall. Yet the question evoked an indignant response in me and my only answer was, “Hell!” Ike started nodding in pleased affirmation, as I stood there on the hulk of ruin. Ike was acting as if I had just signed a contract through the implication that this was all ritual. He was implying that I just had made an agreement with Hell. I took it as silly.

About this time I began to really explore the scope of speaking in metaphors and double meaning, as part of trying to get feedback from those who were occultist and those who weren’t. Those who weren’t would simply take my words at face value unsuspecting they were spoken with a little emphasis, questioning tones, inviting a look for double meanings. Those who were occult would catch the tilt of terms and play on the mutuality of speaking behind the words. It was subtle and imprecise, and required a little degree of faith in the possibility. I became quite adept at having second meanings. Yet I sensed there was also some spiritual catalyst that seemed to work between parties to cause the metaphoric vibes to really take hold, because using double meanings was suddenly, very much, excessively opportune! But it was hard to imagine this could really possibly be true. The spiritual catalyst thing didn’t really seem all that plausible to me. But the feeling was still very distinct.

Ike liked the opportunity to occasionally make an open interpretation of my double meanings or symbolic emphasis, with a mere word or two of his own. His interpretations were always defined by his perspective and didn’t often jibe with the way I was speaking. To Ike it was a handy and convenient thing in order to imply a ritual contract was made according to his specific emphasis. I was taking stock of Ike, that his bend on matters seemed distinctly evil. Still, he believed that I wanted to be a part of his strange subculture. That worked to my ends to bring some light on this mystery. In my heart of hearts though, I was becoming quite repulsed by what was increasingly evil, exploitative, and sinisterly implied a personal sacrifice of my being. I was regarding the occult scene as toxic groups of sick minded people by this time.

One afternoon Rex, Ike, and I were riding up Briley Parkway on the way to Rex’s house on McAlpine. I was in the back seat and contemplating that I was turned off by what was appearing evil. I thought of myself as a good guy. But then as I really thought about it, I knew I had done things that wouldn’t be considered good. But my mind definitely wanted to be good rather than part of this culture that seemed black and evil. Black for evil I thought. Hmmm, then white is for purity. Well I made a symbolism of this idea that I was maybe blackened by my past deeds, my mind was definitely wanting to be pure in motive. So I stated, “My body is black, but my head is white”; meaning I was bad in deeds done in the past, but I was seeking purity in my mind. In a fashion I had come to expect from Ike, he offered his own take on my words. “Black is male, white is female”. “Maybe in his mind,” I thought, “But that’s not what I mean.”

Shortly we arrived at Rex’s house and went inside. It was then that something very repulsive and perverse began to take place. There began to be appearing lights in the room that first announced their arrival by making clicking spark sounds as they flashed. As I began to notice them here and there, they began to interact with me with touches and stings. Sometimes they would move across my skin either seen or unseen. They had a particular affinity for moving through my hair across my scalp. I heard Ike say in humorous tones, “Something is getting in my hair!” as he stood with a pleased grin on his face looking at Rex, and suddenly the phrase had new and deeper meanings to me. I immediately realized these noisy sparks were some kind of exotic life forms with the intelligence to relate to me as a human being. But these beings were far from anything I wanted to be involved with.

The sparks acted as if Ike’s interpretation of my symbolism was some kind of contract they were obliged and anxious to enforce. They began to touch me in lewd ways. They created light depictions of lewd and vulgar things. These spark beings were acting like a bunch of crazed homosexual men in their lewdness. They truly could make the impression that an invisible and very lewd group of homosexual men were present. They affronted the physical senses, though they were mostly invisible. I put up with their vulgarity because I was intrigued at how they could be invisible entities, and I studied on this. I studied how they could interact with the senses of the physical man, even though the sparking entities were mostly invisible and without physical form.

Then the spark entities started playing tricks with other people in the room, without making those people aware of it. They would sting a person and cause them to jerk. Obviously the person would think he just had a strange pain and think nothing of it. Yet they would do something to me at the same time, even if I was across the room. The message implied by them in this, was that there was some strange ethereal connection between me and the other person, as if we were interacting from a distance apart. The problem was they chose to make the statement with the lewdness of homosexual suggestion. This was not acceptable to me, nor did I believe there was any true connection between me and other people. I saw the whole thing as a trick in which these lewd incorporeal entities were the sole agency.

I tried to be as tolerant as I could for the sake of trying to understand these beings. But their persistent lewdness gradually wore me down and I was becoming fed up with them. I wanted them to just leave, but they wouldn’t. It was about this time that I realized there seemed to be only one other person in the room who was aware of the sparking incorporeal beings. It was obvious to me that this person was beginning to play along with the sparks in their games. This person wasn’t being so obvious as to be outlandish appearing to others. Yet in subtle words and actions that have context to the situation occurring, I understood this person was involved in a direct and open way with these beings. It was Ike. I believed then with realization, that Ike seemingly kept very strange company and seemed to enjoy the perverted behaviors of these revolting incorporeal beings. I knew then that Ike and I had polarized completely. Ike and his astral friends had done all the explaining I wanted with this lewd demonstration. But still they persisted. How could I make them go away?

It was all very magical and the thought of magic power occurred to me. But where is this power found? Then it occurred to me that God is the most power that exists, if he really does exists. So I surmised that God might exist and decided to try praying to him. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by just giving a prayer to God a try, so I went with it. In my mind I thought about God having a reputation for holiness and thought of my unworthiness to approach such a being, if He actually existed. Yet God also had a reputation for being there for those in need, worthy or not, so I decided such a God might listen to me. So without drawing attention to myself, I quietly lowered my face toward the floor and prayed within my thoughts, knowing telepathy was real.

I spoke to God: “God, if you are there, you are the most powerful thing that exists. I need your help. You can see these invisible beings are making me sick and bothering me. It isn’t right what they are doing. I want to ask you that you would come and drive these evil things away from here. I ask you in Jesus’ name. Amen”

I raised my eyes and instantly the air was clear. The beings were gone and I knew God had driven them away. I didn’t even care what happened to them. I was just grateful that God answered me and came to my rescue.

Suddenly there was a profound realization: GOD REALLY EXISTS! Then another realization came to me: I had no more excuses concerning God’s existence, and all this living right stuff. That was a bit heavy, so I put off thinking about it very much.
I felt enriched and secure about God existing since he was willing to help me. I was polarized to God’s side. I just knew it! That means Ike and his starry pals are the bad guys!

On another day at Rex’s house, I felt sorry for Ike and appealed to him to adopt love and goodness and to get on “God’s side”. I was so tender that Ike felt my sincerity and was touched by the turn of events. Yet Ike seemed unable to change sides. He seemed to desire something, and a huge struggle seemed to be boiling up inside him, though he tried to appear calm. Silently, Ike listened in uncharacteristic great tolerance of my intrusions into his personhood. The lamb was approaching the lion. Ike gripped deeply at times, into the arms of the chair he was sitting in, yet he remained silent. Still yet, something was holding him back. I figured something was really gripping Ike and had its oppressive influences upon him in some coercive manner.

I was sitting on Rex’s couch and the time was early in the afternoon. Ike was in a chair next to the front door. As I was appealing to Ike to turn to the good side, he listened attentively. I read in Ike’s expression that something inside him desired to make that turn, but he just couldn’t! Then a bright yellowish diamond of light flashed on the far side of the room and raced across the room and shined brightly into my face! This startled Ike who was badly frightened by the sudden light, and he nearly jumped out of his chair! I realized he thought some spiritual being was upon us. But it was only the sunlight reflecting in the front storm door glass through the main front door’s window pane. The storm door had been opened outward and the breeze had made it swing shut some, sending the flash of light into the room to race onto my face and stop there. I must have momentarily seemed gloriously transcended to Ike. But the light just happened to stop on my face. Or did it just happen? Or was it some agency making the event happen? Who knows?

I quickly told Ike it was just the sunlight. But Ike had been so frightened by the event, that for the only time, I saw his emotions come to the surface. A mixture of stress, desire, and fear boiled up in his eyes as they filled with tears. Ike could feel, that much I knew! Between Ike and me, it was understood which side I was on. I left Ike alone at that point to let him recompose himself.

 

And there it is, the revelation of the divide between those with reprobate mind and those of God. The anti-God sentiment seems to come with what is a field effect of the "delusion" of reprobation and the dynamics of that mind controlled state. It is disturbing to think that such individuals are beyond the hope of redemption and their enmity with God is by the decision of God himself to turn them away. It is easy to be sympathetic to somebody with an intellectual problem with the idea of God, and such people must exist. However sympathy for those who's hatred of God stems from sexual issues is hard to sympathize with. So far to me, the anti-God mindset appears to me to be rooted in sexual issues, and homosexual issue in particular.

Sad but apparently true.