Monday, September 27, 2010

“Intercession Impression”

 

On this day I decided to go walking toward Earhart Road which is quite a way to walk. But I did I recalled enjoying the intrigue of my magic walks and the events occurring around them. finally get to Earhart Road and was walking up that road when I heard the Bird. Now the voice of the Bird has been the one friendly voice I trusted. The spaceman was whistling like a bird and he seemed to be my type of individual. He was listening to my thoughts and started responding to me. I had liked this guy and his optimistic view of things, his “significance” themes, his powers and ability of controlling human perceptions, were really neat technologies. I even hoped he might let me ride in his hotrod spaceship. Today though, the Spaceman’s contact with me seemed darker and creepier. It didn’t help that as a counter call to the voice of the bird, the squeaking gate sound seemed to making a goad of itself. It was like some kind of dual was going on. Some point of conflict was in the air. This day, the whole feeling of this song of the bird combined with the squeaking gate sound, was toxic and really creeping me out. It was almost like a good guy, bad guy interrogation of some kind. As I walked, the topic of the conversation became about my belief that I thought I was something religiously significant: that I’m the Holy Spirit. There seemed to be contention in the very air. Was this a day a spiritual testing for me? Why am I being challenged on this? Why are the squeaking gates goading me as if anxious to see me fail the test of this question? Why is the shrill flute even in the same conversation as the bird with me?


I had just topped the hill which was at the end of the big S-curve, when the antagonist posed a frightening question to me; a question that was terribly challenging.

“If you are the Holy Spirit, can you take the punishment of everyone so that they can go to Heaven? Can you go to hell for their sakes?”

I was shocked, repulsed, and stunned by such a scenario! How had this idea come to the table? Was God expecting me to take the punishment for others? I didn’t think being the Holy Spirit involved anything as drastic as that! I thought this was going to be fun! Now I’m being asked if I can do something like that for other people that I don’t even know! Was God really expecting such a thing? I felt revulsion at such a concept. Yet even so, I felt deference to higher authority, since we are talking God here, and I’m the Holy Spirit!

At this point I felt fear and was under extreme psychological pressure, and a kind of existential spiritual agony. It was coming to me as some kind of spiritual ultimatum and it all felt like duress. I wanted to be on the good side with God, but sacrificing myself for others, which would leave me in the misery of final judgment, was asking a bit much. I took the question so seriously that I had to think about whether I could accept this mission. I was beginning to feel the pains of terror. I love people and I want the best for them, but what about me? As I walked I became more and more terrified and yet more serious about what I should say to God. This bird had really fowled me up on this question. It didn’t help that the goading sour sound of the squeaking gate was following me. It was like a glee of evil to me that was happy at my misfortune. The question along with this pessimistic ambience of a sour sound following me added to the dread and terror I was beginning to feel.

After a bit I decided that I had to do what God wanted, but I didn’t like it. I loved my existence and it was precious to me. It was a hard thing! I went into some woods off the road a bit and a great light started appearing in the sky with burning brilliance. I was terrified and just knew some big fire of God was about to take me. As I watched it, I realized it was just the landing lights of a jet plane that had turned my direction. I realized that I was losing it, just to have been frightened by a plane’s light! I sat at the base of a tree and began to mourn my fate of being the one to intercede for the rest of humanity. At the base of the tree I was in agony and wept until my energy was depleted. It began to grow dark.

As the dark descended, I felt no comfort being in the woods and so walked out to the road as the dark set fully in around me. I walked onward to John Hagar Road and turned right, which was another route toward home. I was emotionally strung out, feeling bitter and now exhausted. As I walked some headlights came up behind me and a white van slowed down beside me. A man was concerned about me and asked if I needed a ride. I was too tired to refuse the ride, and so I got in the van. I doubted the man could see how wretched I was in the dark. But I felt miserable and had hardly the energy or emotional state to converse. The greatest impression I got of the man was that he was a kind and loving person who was really concerned about me as he drove me toward the house. He took a little longer route, but I didn’t care. It was nice of him to give me a ride at all. At least this magic walk had finally got a ride at all, even if it was on the road home. I think this man understood that I was hurting, and he showed real concern for me. At least there’s some kindness left in this world!

Finally the man dropped me off at the intersection of Central Pike and Dodson Chapel Road and I walked over to the house and went in. Mom immediately saw that I was in some state of agony, which I dared not even mention to her. But who can hide themselves from their mother? She knew! I went on to my room to continue in agony. Mom’s love was so deep and so concerned. She said to Dad, “We have to get Bryson some help”. They were resolved and did faithfully intervene to try to get me some help.

Was all this from God or was it just some insane delusion? If it was from God, this is what is accomplished: The concept of interceding to take other people’s punishment for them was introduced to me. I found that I couldn’t say no to God. Yet I let God know my bitterness. I felt agony of soul, weeping and having a terrified and broken heart. If there was ever anyone who might have felt this kind of thing, I certainly could begin to grasp the agony they felt. Maybe that’s what God wanted. If there was any way out of this thing, I was hoping God would find another way. But I knew that God would do what God needed to. It was a horrible price to pay, but if God wanted it, how could it be any other way? I sure didn’t want to be the “Holy Spirit” anymore. Was there any hope of relief from such a thing? I hoped so, and hope was all that kept me from utterly falling into the pit of despairing resignation in which our souls fall over the edge and we die in our mind.

There is somebody who understands:

Then came Yeshua with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and Yeshua said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray yonder.” Then Yeshua took with him Peter and also Yames and YaHannah, who are the two sons of Zebedee. As they went, Yeshua began to be in agony of great sorrow, amazed with grief and full of heaviness. He said to them, “My soul is in great agony and sorrow of death. Stay here with me and keep watch” Yeshua then proceeded a little further from them and went to his knees to pray, then collapsed on his face. He prayed to God, “Father, anything is possible for you; if you are willing, let this cup be taken away from me: Nevertheless, not what I want, but what you want be done.” Then an angel of heaven appeared to him and gave him strength. Then Yeshua, in all his agony, prayed with all his heart.

Monday, September 13, 2010

ISBN number for "Stars of Glory: An Odyssey in Reality"

Things are moving along pretty well for "Stars of Glory: An Odyssey in Reality".

The book has now received an ISBN number for its EPUB format for eBook readers. Here is the notification I received:

Congratulations. This email confirms your book, Stars of Glory: An Odyssey in Reality, has been assigned the ISBN 978-1-4524-1214-6.

 I encourage you guys to download a sample and see if it is a story you would enjoy. You can get your sample HERE.

Beets

This is a good example of how to settle issues.